Like a Boss

SHUT UP BOY, YOU LOOK LIKE A VELOCIRAPTOR IN A CLOGGED TOILET BOWL. BRUH, YOU LIKE AN OFF BRAND BEN 10 CHARACTER NAH, YOU AIN’T BEN 10 YOU STEVEN 9! GET YO ASS BACK BOY! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT EXPELLED FOR BARKING AT YO LUNCH LADY, SHUT YO ASS UP BOY! YOU AIN’T FROM THE JURASSIC PARK, YOU CAME FROM THE PREHISTORIC PLAYGROUND! GET YO ASS OUT BOY, YOU LIKE CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG’D FOSSIL! BOY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WITH YO NASTY ASS?! BOY, YOU BETTER GET YO AUTUMN WAS AN AVERAGE KID THAT NOONE UNDERSTANDS WOAH!!! MOM AND DAD AND GRANDPA ALWAYS GIVING HIM COMMANDS LOOKIN ASS BOY! BRUH, YOUR BALLS DROPPED AND THEN CLIMBED BACK UP BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BOY YOU SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS AN UNSOLVED RUBIK’S CUBE, YOU MADE AN NFT OUT OF YOUR GRANDMA TWERKING ON A PICKLE, YOU TRIED TURNING YOUR DISHWASHER *inhale* INTO A BITCOIN MINING RIG, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A LITTLE MOUSE WHO LIVES UNDER YOUR BED IN A PRINGLES CAN, YOUR MOM USES A JUMP ROPE AS A BELT, YOUR GRANDPA GOT AN EMERGENCY HEART TRANSPLANT WITH A CAPRISUN POUCH, YOUR BARBER LINED YOU UP WITH A WEEDWACKER, YOU HAD ESEX WITH MOBY FROM BRAIN POP IN AN ENCRYPED HTML FILE, UNCLE GOT ARRESTED FOR EATING A BLUEBERRY OUT OF A ORANGUTAN’S ASSHOLE, YOUR SISTER’S CURRENTLY ENGAGED TO A ANTHROMORPHIC DUNG BEETLE NAMED “STEFAN”, GRANDPA GOT HELD UP BY A PIGEON WTIH A MOHAWK ON THE SUBWAY, YOU POSTED A INSTAGRAM STORY OF A JAMAICAN CRICKET GIVING YOU A LAP DANCE IN THE BACK OF TOYS R US, YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO FLIP PATRICK THE STAR’S BELLY BUTTON LINT ON THE DARK WEB TO PAY OFF YOUR HOUSE’S MORTGAGE, YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT YOU A PS5 FOR SUCCESSFULLY DRAWING A TRIANGLE, YOUR GRANDPA’S BUILT LIKE AN EXPIRED CHUG JUG AND YOUR LEGAL NAME IS FANG CLAW FUZZLE WUZZLES! GET YO ASS ON BOY IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH, IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BRUH YOU BETTER GET YO HIPPOPOTAMUS SMELLING, COCOMELON, REGISTERED INTERNET FELON, NASTY AND NEED A CLEANSE, FOSTER HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS, “EXCUSE ME, I ONLY DATE 10S” LOOKIN ASS OUT OF MY FACE BRUH STOP PLAYIN BRUH. ANTS BE USING YOUR GRANDMA’S BUTTCRACK AS A SLIP N SLIDE! IN FACT, YOU FINNA PULL UP TO YO GRANDMOTHER’S FUNERAL DRESSED UP AS A RABID ORANGUTAN! YO FURRY ASS BOY YOU GONNA “OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! IM SORRY GRANDMA *inhale* OOH! OOH! OOH! OOH! STOP PLAYING WITH ME BRUH, YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH, YOU BE HITTING ON THE GIRLS AT LUNCH TIME WITH YO SACRED MATING CALL, YOU BE STANDING ON THE TABLE GOING “WAAHH! WAAHH! WAAHH!” STOP PLAYING BOY YOU BOUT NASTY AS HELL BRUH. BOY YOU BETTER GET YO PTERODACTYL, GOOD AT SCRABBLE, SHRIVELED APPLE, ATTRACTED TO BEEF CATTLE, CONCEIVED ON A HORSE SADDLE, YOU DON’T RUN YOU SKEDADDLE, PASTOR DID QUESTIONABLE THINGS TO YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHURCH CHAPEL LOOKIN ASS BACK BOY YOU BOUTR DIRTY AS HELL! BETTER GET YO “ALL OF YOU HOES~ ALL OF YOU HOES~ YOU DONT REMEMBER WHO YALL TALKIN TO ITS THE DISCORD CEO!” LOOKIN ASS BACK OUT OF MY FACE, BOY YOU BOUT DIRTY AS HELL! GET YO LIL DIGGITY DIGGITY ASS ON BOYYYY!